Mi ne vidimo naše stanje sna u kome se nalazimo. U njemu mislimo o radu, mislimo "Želim da budem prisutna". Ali napor da budem prisutna je nešto potpuno drugačije od razmišljanja. To je napor koji se odvija u pravcu svesnosti. Moramo saznati da li smo svesni u datom trenutku kao i sve njene nivoe. Njeno prisustvo ili njena odsutnost može biti utvrdjena unutrašnjim činom posmatranja.
Nalazim se ispred nečega što mi nije poznato. Nalazim se ispred zagonetke, tajanstvenosti mog prisustva. Moram da uvidim da ne mogu da razumem tu misteriju mojim uobičajenim načinom svesti. Ali moram razumeti, makar intelektualno, šta bi to značilo biti prisutna, to jest, biti prisutna ne samo mojom glavom, mojim osetima ili mojim osećanjima, već sa svim tim delovima moje Prisutnosti zajedno. Možda u tom trenutku ja i dalje neću biti stvarno prisutna, ali ću barem tražiti zajednički pravac.
Ko je prisutan - ko vidi? I koga? Čitav problem je u tome. Da bi posmatrali sebe potrebna nam je pažnja koja je drukčija od naše uobičajene. Mi prihvatamo napor da budemo budni, da posmatramo napor koji ulaže stražar. Nastojimo da ga održimo u nama trajno.
Onaj ko posmatra je onaj ko je prisutan. Isključivo on je taj pravi.
Preostali deo mene je pasivan. Stražar mora da primi utisak unutrašnjeg stanja i da poseduje osećaj celine dok pokušava da vidi sve u isto vreme. Moramo da naučimo da pravimo razliku izmedju stvarnog "Ja", koje se nigde ne vidi, i ličnosti, koja preuzima i veruje da je jedina koja postoji. Jedna ima moć nad drugim. Neophodno je da obrnu uloge. Opasnost je u tome jer mi ne vidimo kada se one ponovo menjaju. Zapravo, znam i treba da pojačam pažnju u trenucima kada vidim i razumem da mi je ona rasuta.
Čin posmatranja same sebe mi pokazuje kako da se bolje usresredim i ojačam pažnju. Ono mi pomaže da vidim da se ne sećam sebe, da ne vidim stanje uspavanosti u kome se nalazim. Ja sam podeljena, pažnja mi je rasuta i ne postoji snaga koja je na raspolaganju da to primeti. Kada sam budna, činim napor da oslobodim dovoljno pažnje, da se suprostavim rasejanosti i da to vidim. To je stanje koje je više dobrovoljno. Sada je prisutan stražar, on je drugačije stanje svesti. Moram uvek da se setim da ja ne znam šta sam, da je sav problem u tome ko je prisutan. Samoposmatranje mojim ustaljenim načinom razmišljanja, sa njegovom podelom izmedju posmatrača i onoga što je posmatrano, će samo ojačati iluziju mog uobičajenog "Ja".
U odredjenom trenutku dolazimo k sebi i vidimo dva aspekta, dve naravi u nama - višu povezanu sa jednim svetom i nižu povezanu sa drugim, drugačijim svetom. Šta smo mi? Nismo niti jedno niti drugo - ni Bog ni životinja. U životu učestvujemo sa obe, i božanskom i životinjskom. Čovek je sastavljen od dve, ne samo jedne naravi i kao takav, on je samo biće koje ima mogućnost da postane čovek samo ako bude u stanju da živi sa obe naravi u sebi, a ne da bude povučen od strane jedne ili druge. Ako se povuče u viši deo, on se udaljava od njegovih ispoljavanja i ne može ih više vrednovati. On više ne poznaje niti doživljava njegovu životinjsku narav. A ukoliko sklizne u drugu narav, on zaboravlja sve što nije životinjsko i nema ničega da tome pruži otpor. On je životinja.....nije čovek. Životinja uvek odbacuje andjela. Andjeo se distancira od životinje.
Svestan čovek je onaj koji je uvek budan, uvek oprezan, onaj koji se seća sebe u obe krajnosti i onaj čije su obe prirode u njemu uvek suočene .
The watchman - Jeanne de Salzmann
We do not see our state of sleep. In this state we think of working; we think, “I wish to be present.” But the effort to be present is something very different from thinking. It is an effort in the direction of consciousness. We must come to know whether we are conscious at a given moment, and all the degrees of this consciousness. Its presence or absence can thus be proved by an inner act of observing.
I am in front of something I do not know. I am in front of a mystery, the mystery of my Presence. I must recognize that I cannot know this mystery with my ordinary means of knowing. But I must understand, at least intellectually, what it would mean to be present—that is, to be present not only with my head, my sensation or my feeling, but with all these elements of my Presence together. Maybe then I still will not be truly present, but at least I will search for a common direction.
Who is present - who is seeing? And whom? The whole problem is here. In order to observe ourselves we need an attention that is different from our ordinary attention. We undertake the struggle to be vigilant, to watch the struggle of the watchman. We seek to have a watchman in us who is ""stable. The one who watches is the one who is present. Only the watchman is active.
The rest of me is passive. The watchman must take an impression of the inner state while trying to see everything at the same time and have a sense of the whole. We must learn to distinguish between the real “I,” which is nowhere to be seen, and the personality, which takes over and believes it is the only one who exists. One has power over the other. The necessity is to reverse the roles. The danger is that we do not see the roles change back again. I believe I need to pay attention when, in fact, I need to see and know my inattention.
Observation of myself shows me how better to concentrate and strengthens the attention. It makes me see that I do not remember myself, that I do not see my state of sleep. I am fragmented, my attention is dispersed, and there is no force that is available to see. When I awaken, I make an effort to disengage enough attention to oppose this dispersion, and to see it. This is a state that is more voluntary. Now there is a watchman, and this watchman is
a different state of consciousness. I must always remember that I do not know what I am, that the whole problem is who is present. Self-observation by my usual thought, with its separation between the observer and what is observed,
will only strengthen the illusion of my ordinary “I.”
At a certain moment we come to see two aspects, two natures, in ourselves a higher nature related to one world and a lower nature related to another, a different world. What are we? We are neither one nor the other neither God nor animal. We participate in life with both a divine nature and an
animal nature. Man is double; he is not one. And, as such, he is only a promise of man until he can live with both natures present in himself and not withdraw into one or the other. If he withdraws into the higher part, he is distant from his manifestations and can no longer evaluate them; he no longer knows or experiences his animal nature. If he slides into the other nature, he forgets everything that is not animal, and there is nothing to resist it; he is animal . . .
not man. The animal always refuses the angel. The angel turns away from the animal.
A conscious man is one who is always vigilant, always watchful, who remembers himself in both directions and has his two natures always confronted.
The watchman - Jeanne de Salzmann
We do not see our state of sleep. In this state we think of working; we think, “I wish to be present.” But the effort to be present is something very different from thinking. It is an effort in the direction of consciousness. We must come to know whether we are conscious at a given moment, and all the degrees of this consciousness. Its presence or absence can thus be proved by an inner act of observing.
I am in front of something I do not know. I am in front of a mystery, the mystery of my Presence. I must recognize that I cannot know this mystery with my ordinary means of knowing. But I must understand, at least intellectually, what it would mean to be present—that is, to be present not only with my head, my sensation or my feeling, but with all these elements of my Presence together. Maybe then I still will not be truly present, but at least I will search for a common direction.
Who is present - who is seeing? And whom? The whole problem is here. In order to observe ourselves we need an attention that is different from our ordinary attention. We undertake the struggle to be vigilant, to watch the struggle of the watchman. We seek to have a watchman in us who is ""stable. The one who watches is the one who is present. Only the watchman is active.
The rest of me is passive. The watchman must take an impression of the inner state while trying to see everything at the same time and have a sense of the whole. We must learn to distinguish between the real “I,” which is nowhere to be seen, and the personality, which takes over and believes it is the only one who exists. One has power over the other. The necessity is to reverse the roles. The danger is that we do not see the roles change back again. I believe I need to pay attention when, in fact, I need to see and know my inattention.
Observation of myself shows me how better to concentrate and strengthens the attention. It makes me see that I do not remember myself, that I do not see my state of sleep. I am fragmented, my attention is dispersed, and there is no force that is available to see. When I awaken, I make an effort to disengage enough attention to oppose this dispersion, and to see it. This is a state that is more voluntary. Now there is a watchman, and this watchman is
a different state of consciousness. I must always remember that I do not know what I am, that the whole problem is who is present. Self-observation by my usual thought, with its separation between the observer and what is observed,
will only strengthen the illusion of my ordinary “I.”
At a certain moment we come to see two aspects, two natures, in ourselves a higher nature related to one world and a lower nature related to another, a different world. What are we? We are neither one nor the other neither God nor animal. We participate in life with both a divine nature and an
animal nature. Man is double; he is not one. And, as such, he is only a promise of man until he can live with both natures present in himself and not withdraw into one or the other. If he withdraws into the higher part, he is distant from his manifestations and can no longer evaluate them; he no longer knows or experiences his animal nature. If he slides into the other nature, he forgets everything that is not animal, and there is nothing to resist it; he is animal . . .
not man. The animal always refuses the angel. The angel turns away from the animal.
A conscious man is one who is always vigilant, always watchful, who remembers himself in both directions and has his two natures always confronted.
