Kada se nalazim više
na površini sebe ( kada mi je
pažnja rasuta ), ja nemam tu lakoću nad tim da samo pustim . Kada sam većim
delom unutar sebe, dolazi trenutak kada
nemam slobodu da delujem dok sam
napeta. Ali ipak, u meni postoji nivo na kome mogu da vidim stvaranje tenzije
i njihov medjusobni uticaj, bez da budem potpuno obuzeta njima. Ostajem svesna nečega što ne može biti uzeto.
To direktno zavisi od doživljavanja mog centra gravitacije, kome uvek moram da se vraćam.
Ovi nagoveštaji, napetost i
dopuštanje, su moji odgovori na život, i
oni utiču na moje disanje. Kada vidim da
ono nikada nije slobodno, postavlja se pitanje o njegovom značenju i njegovoj
vezi sa mojim mislima, osećanjima i organskim životom.
Kada sedim u stabilnom uspravnom položaju, prave kičme sa nogama koje
su ukrštene i stabilnim donjim delom
ledja, u tišini, ja se osećam stegnuto nebrojenim tenzijama koje me drže kao da sam uhvaćena u neku
mrežu. U odredjenom trenutku osećam kako
tenzija popušta i kako opada. Moj
unutrašnji život se lagano pojavljuje kao iza oblaka i postajem protočnija. Jasno vidim kako držanje mog tela dozvoljava
ili ne dozvoljava tu protočnost, slobodu.
Pre svega, pravilan položaj karlice i
nogu omogućuje kičmi tj. ledjima da budu prava. Kolena ne smeju da budu na istom nivou sa
kukovima već u istoj ravni ili niže.
Ovo podupire najvažniju stvar - trup, abdomen, glavu. Vidim da skriveno osećanje prisutnosti zavisi od moje tenzije. Ukoliko je solarni pleksus previše nezaštićen
ili previše skučen, stanje kada sam živa
se neće pojaviti. Energija treba da teče
slobodno, i najmanja prepreka može da
spreči tok da bude uspostavljen. Čim se
energija uspostavi, ja osećam slobodu. Osećam da postojim, da sam živa. Nešto novo, živo, o
čemu pre nisam znala. I odjednom, postajem svesna disanja. Ja znam da dišem. To je nagoveštaj života koji osećam u
sebi. Ne usredsredjujem se na disanje i
ne pokušavam da ga dovedem u vezu sa mislima. Moram da postanem jedno sa tim osećanjem
disanja, raspoznajući udisanje i
izdisanje kao nešto što je prirodno i
spontano, prihvatajući sve bez da ičemu
težim. Ne pokušavam bilo šta da
zadržim, bilo šta da sprečim, ničemu se ne protivim, dopuštam sebi da
izbacujem, izdišem vazduh do kraja. Kada
ostvarim stanje puštajući dah da teče potpuno i slobodno, ja osećam da energija
ispunjava moj abdomen i da ona više nema težnju neprekidno da raste. Tokom
disanja, vidim da se misli pojavljuju i razilaze , i vidim da se iza njih
nalazi neka energija. Energija razmišljanja. Ali misli nisu razmišljanje.
Kada dopuštam na dubljem nivou, osećam da je disanje izvor
te energije u meni. Njegovi sastojci
mogu da nahrane tu unutrašnju Prisutnost. Osećam da su pravci, prelazi kojima se ono
kreće važni, i da mogu da uspostavim odnos izmedju izvora jednog centra sa
drugim. Prvo moram da uspostavim odnos kroz utisak, te da se naviknem na
osećanje prelaska, bez da očekujem bilo šta.
U trenutku ga postajem svesna. Osećam da moje disanje ima veliki značaj, kao da je ono
sam čin života. Osećam to kao jedan živi nagoveštaj, nagoveštaj jednog izvora u koji sam i ja uključena.
Postojim u njemu. Sebe ne mogu da držim po
strani, promatrajući izvan toga, niti
mogu to da popravim ili zaustavim, prisvajajući ga za sebe. Mogu samo da osetim da sam deo toga i da bez njega nepostojim, kao i da to ne može da postigne bilo šta bez
mene. Dopuštam, i u gubljenju sebe ja se pronalazim. Predajem se ovom osećanju, u kojem je poredak
formiran i čim se pojavi, tenutno mu se prepuštam .
Jeane de Salzmann - Reality of Being - Stvarnost Bića
When I am very much on the surface of myself, I have no freedom of
action over letting go. When I am much deeper in myself, a moment comes when I have no freedom of action over tensing. Yet there is a level in me at which I can see tensions form and respond to each other without being completely taken by them. I remain aware of something that cannot be taken. This is directly dependent on experiencing my center of gravity, to which I must always return. These movements of tension and letting go are my response to life, and they affect my breathing. When I see that my breathing is never free, the question arises as to its significance and its relation to my thinking, feeling and organic life.
When I am seated in the quiet, I feel constrained by countless tensions, small tensions that hold me as though in a net. At the very moment I sense this, the net loosens. As the tensions give way, my inner life appears as though emerging from a cloud, and I become freer. I see clearly that the posture of my body allows or prevents this freedom. First, the position of the pelvis and legs allows the spine to be straight. The knees must not be higher than the hips.
This maintains everything—the trunk, the abdomen, the head. I see that the inner feeling of Presence depends on my tensions. If the solar plexus is too open or too restricted, this life will not appear. The energy needs to pass freely, and the slightest hindrance can prevent the current from being established. As soon as the energy appears, I feel free. I feel myself existing, a new existence I did not know before. And suddenly I am aware of the breathing. I know that I breathe. It is the movement of life that I feel in myself. I do not concentrate on the respiration, I do not try to relate the thought with the breathing. I have to become one with the feeling of breathing, sensing the inhalation and exhalation as natural and spontaneous, accepting everything so that there is no striving. I hold back nothing, letting myself exhale to the end. When I succeed in letting the breathing take place more freely and completely, I feel that the energy fills my abdomen and that it no longer has the tendency constantly to rise. In breathing, I see thoughts appear and disperse, and I see that behind them there is an energy, the energy of the thinking. The thoughts are not the thinking.
In letting go more deeply, I feel that the breathing is the life of this energy in me. Its elements could nourish this inner Presence. I feel that the routes, the pathways it travels, are important, that they could relate the life of one center to another. I need first to establish a contact through sensation, to become used to feeling the pathways, without expecting anything.
In the moment I become conscious of it, I feel that my breathi ng has great importance, as if it were the very act of living. I feel it as a living movement, the movement of the one life in which I am included. I exist in this movement. I cannot hold myself apart, observing from the outside, nor fix or stop the movement, appropriating it for myself. I can only feel that I am part of it. I am nothing without it, and it can do nothing without me. I let go, and in losing myself I find myself. I submit to this movement, in which form is created and immediately swept away as soon as it appears. I live in my breathing.
action over letting go. When I am much deeper in myself, a moment comes when I have no freedom of action over tensing. Yet there is a level in me at which I can see tensions form and respond to each other without being completely taken by them. I remain aware of something that cannot be taken. This is directly dependent on experiencing my center of gravity, to which I must always return. These movements of tension and letting go are my response to life, and they affect my breathing. When I see that my breathing is never free, the question arises as to its significance and its relation to my thinking, feeling and organic life.
When I am seated in the quiet, I feel constrained by countless tensions, small tensions that hold me as though in a net. At the very moment I sense this, the net loosens. As the tensions give way, my inner life appears as though emerging from a cloud, and I become freer. I see clearly that the posture of my body allows or prevents this freedom. First, the position of the pelvis and legs allows the spine to be straight. The knees must not be higher than the hips.
This maintains everything—the trunk, the abdomen, the head. I see that the inner feeling of Presence depends on my tensions. If the solar plexus is too open or too restricted, this life will not appear. The energy needs to pass freely, and the slightest hindrance can prevent the current from being established. As soon as the energy appears, I feel free. I feel myself existing, a new existence I did not know before. And suddenly I am aware of the breathing. I know that I breathe. It is the movement of life that I feel in myself. I do not concentrate on the respiration, I do not try to relate the thought with the breathing. I have to become one with the feeling of breathing, sensing the inhalation and exhalation as natural and spontaneous, accepting everything so that there is no striving. I hold back nothing, letting myself exhale to the end. When I succeed in letting the breathing take place more freely and completely, I feel that the energy fills my abdomen and that it no longer has the tendency constantly to rise. In breathing, I see thoughts appear and disperse, and I see that behind them there is an energy, the energy of the thinking. The thoughts are not the thinking.
In letting go more deeply, I feel that the breathing is the life of this energy in me. Its elements could nourish this inner Presence. I feel that the routes, the pathways it travels, are important, that they could relate the life of one center to another. I need first to establish a contact through sensation, to become used to feeling the pathways, without expecting anything.
In the moment I become conscious of it, I feel that my breathi ng has great importance, as if it were the very act of living. I feel it as a living movement, the movement of the one life in which I am included. I exist in this movement. I cannot hold myself apart, observing from the outside, nor fix or stop the movement, appropriating it for myself. I can only feel that I am part of it. I am nothing without it, and it can do nothing without me. I let go, and in losing myself I find myself. I submit to this movement, in which form is created and immediately swept away as soon as it appears. I live in my breathing.
